xoxo

So we watched the debate finally and there were points where I could hardly breathe. That's when I realized that I haven't really cared about anything lately as much as I care about the election. I think I need to be in love. Or get an animal. 

You can tell me that "he" is, in the end, the man like all the rest before. But here's the thing: I can't vote for you. I can take the little bit of freedom that I have and use it how I see fit, with the understanding that maybe my hope does sometimes overshadow my "intelligence." But that's life, man. I can cross my fingers and hope that is enough. 

Just don't say sorry, I'm not totally ignorant. 

***

So I've jumped on the LA bandwagon and been feeling totally shitty and just completely sorry for myself, which is lame because we've been rewatching season 2 of Twin Peaks and it's been blowing my mind for roughly 2 hours a night this past week. It's just that there's so much negative shit going around right now like a virus, and you can tell, even walking around downtown, that people are totally bumming the fuck out. Living in this perpetual state of numbed caution is pretty damn terrifying. 

I was talking to my dad the other night which is a semi-rare but fantastic occurrence, and (as with all recent conversations with pretty much anybody tend to do lately), talk turned to the goddamned economy. How he is afraid for friends and family and how the end to whatever we're living through probably won't come for a lot longer than it will take me to graduate college. F.u.c.k.

But at some point you've just got to accept where you stand in the world and the roles that you are playing in your everyday life, and understand that a lot of our fate truly is out of your hands. That which is not out of your hands (yet) is that which you still have the ability to change. And this is something that we do not have to be afraid of. So go ahead and trust your own personal choice of god, trust Obama, trust yourself; trust Secret Agent Dale Cooper and the genius of David Lynch. Trust a friend that will listen to the Silversun Pickups and smoke with you in a parking lot at three in the morning. Trust the ocean currents, or the fact that the stars are going to come out every night without fail because that is simply what they do. 

Now is the time when people are going to need to start seeing their lives for what they are and not what they are not, whether that is completely shitty or completely beautiful. Because in the end, isn't the only real difference between what you've got and what you need that the things you need can't really leave you? 

I guess you just have to keep telling yourself that no matter what we are losing, there are constants that will remain if you allow them to. My brother's short stories, Weezer's Blue Album, snow in October, Oki Dog, polaroids of my parents' first Christmas together a million years ago, smoggy skylines, Montana highways. People have waded through knee-deep shit before. People will drown in it before anything gets better. And thus, focusing on the things in your life that you have and the things you can still control has never been more difficult, but never been more important. 

My opinion, for what it's worth. Which is probably just about nothing if you ask wallstreet. 

Today is a good day to flex the muscles of the weary,
A miracle's a miracle even when it's ordinary.
We will walk on the water even though it seems scary,
If someone will show us the way.

He said, "Do unto yourself as you do unto your neighbor -
It's not an eye for an eye, It's a favor for a favor.
And it's okay if this world has a billion saviors,
'Cause there's so many things to be saved."

-Cloud Cult