victoryyyy!

i hear all the time that any transformation is based upon progress. which is true, in the end, or else where the hell are we headed? sometimes it just hurts to know that you have to wait. and that whatever you're waiting for isn't even guaranteed. an absolution that may never come. is there an end to anything, or are we always attempting to go further? is that right, or is that wrong. should we ever just settle?

i am thrilled. i am inspired not only by a man, but by my fellow americans. by the hope i saw on my television screen and heard throughout my apartment complex on the night of November 4. hope that overshadowed fear, and anger, and hate. and i am proud. i talked to my father, who was in tears, as he and all his friends recited that honest declaration of hope along with over 200,000 people on one television screen. he said, 'my vote was for you.' and that's that. thanks, dad.

proposition 8 passed on the same night that our country voted in a black man as our nation's president. victory and heartbreak. i was able to pick the leader whom i think will, eventually, bring us back to life, and yet the man who chose my name on the night i was born is not allowed to marry the one he has been with since long before. we have come so far and i can't help questioning if i should just be grateful for that or wonder when the fuck we are going to get our shit together and go further. progress. 

things are going to get shitty. a lot of people will say i told you so. but unless you are open to the fact that the world changes, you are going to get continuously let down. obama is our president, and that is so because people stood up for what they believed in and knew that they could change. if we're not together, then clearly, we've fallen apart.

why can't a campaign be something as simple as love, not war? and why can't the one person you actually want to be with be here and not there, not a million miles away? nothing is ever solved. battles are won and people regain hope but we wake up tomorrow in the same life that we shut our eyes on the night before, and we go forward. because whether or not you voted, that's the way it goes.